I agree it is a mindset thing for certain.
Dh’s sister refers to us as rich, and thinks we have done nothing to deserve where we are at in our station in life. She has it in her head I come from a rich family. Nothing could be further from the truth.
For several years my df was raised by his divorced mother in a one room log cabin with dirt floors. When she did marry the man I called Papa he was a traveling salesman that was out of work almost as much as he had a job. But they were determined to move up in the world, and eventually they did by working their ever loving backsides off. But they were far from rich. While my granny owed no one when she died, she also owned very little but a small brokerage account, but she was rich in her own mind and in my heart.
The first home I remember living in as a child was a two room (NOT 2 bedroom, but 2 rooms and neither of them was a bathroom) house. My Dad worked long hard hours and built on a single bedroom and a bathroom with a hall in between as he could with the cash he could scrape together. My brother and I slept in that hall on a set of bunk beds.
When Dad died he owed no one, he too had a small brokerage account, but he also had a great understanding of the importance of education. I’ve wrote about him often. I’ve worked all my life in one way or another and saved as I could. My first home as a married woman to my first husband was a one room efficiency apart with a Murphy bed. I paid $67.50 a month for it and the two of us shared it with cock roaches so big I called them Trojan horses.
I paid the down payment on my first house with U.S. Savings bonds that were purchased by buying savings bond stamps in school each week as I was growing up. I used my baby sitting money to do so. I started baby sitting at age 8. I also took in ironing, and sewing. I did the bonds because my mother couldn’t cash those in, and any cash I tried to save at home she would “borrow”, only it never returned. I was more like my Dad than my Mom for certain.
Each home after that the down payment was the equity from the first home. When I divorced my first husband he tried to take the house and leave me and my daughter homeless. Luckily I had a good lawyer and an understanding judge that realized that even though back then the man was considered the provider it was MY money that had paid the down payment and MY pay check that had made the monthly payments. It was a long hard fight to get to our home now. But all sil sees is the 3,300 square foot home on 90 acres and not the work it took to get there.
She lives off of others, and the US government, although she is perfectly able bodied and able to work. Is on a first name basis with her local pawn broker and pay day lender. And as I said, buys her household items from RAC. She has stolen from every family member more than once and at age 54 I do not see her changing her ways.
Her father died ashamed of her and could not see how he went wrong with her. While none of the other 3 kids are rich they all did get educated and learned the value of earning a living. She, on the other hand is not speaking to her brothers because both have refused to give her any more money. So she gets on facebook and calls her brothers thieves and selfish, while she takes her mother’s entire social security check every month. We have all come to realize that we cannot change her, and therefore refuse to enable her any longer. She has chosen her path, but it does not mean we have to put her in a cart and pull her down it.